assume:

deair:

so one time i was at the mall and then out of nowhere this guy put his arm around me and said hey but then i got really scared and so i screamed bYE AND WHILE I SPRINTED AWAY HE RAN AFTER ME AND YELLED WAIT COME BACK AND TO THIS DAY I DONT KNOW WHY THIS HAPPENED

fuck that was me 

shaqinfrozen:

These frames do feature Shaquille O’Neal

theeverblockedwriter:

condensed-bloodmilk:

mulder-who:

#I’M LITERALLY CRYING ABOUT THIS HELMET AGAIN #EVERY TIME I SEE IT I JUST #WHAT IS THIS SHIT FOR #WHY IS THERE A POLICE SIREN ON TOP OF IT #WHAT IS THE ANTENNA FOR #BUT MOSTLY #WHY #WHY DOES IT SAY SPOCK ON IT IN GIANT LETTERS #LIKE TO LET THE REST OF THE CREW KNOW OH GOD HERE COMES THAT FUCKING IDIOT SPOCK AND HIS HELMET (x)

#captain i am present #yes mr. spock we know

Jfc the TAGS

minxiekitten:

raubbenhood:

Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.

WHY IS THIS NOT HAPPENING?!

"get the point?!"

faller4eva:

High five everybody!!

willyciraptor:

circlebutt:

helpihavedementia:

brogigayo:

ticktaec:

tyleroakley:

My body is ready.

I know it’s mashed potatoes and gravy but is it bad that I thought it was ice cream and caramel?

 …it is ice cream and caramel
why would anyone put mashed potatoes and gravy in an apple

fucking what



did the tumblr community bully someone away about fucking food

willyciraptor:

circlebutt:

helpihavedementia:

brogigayo:

ticktaec:

tyleroakley:

My body is ready.

I know it’s mashed potatoes and gravy but is it bad that I thought it was ice cream and caramel?

 …it is ice cream and caramel

why would anyone put mashed potatoes and gravy in an apple

fucking what

image

did the tumblr community bully someone away about fucking food

fluent-in-lesbianism:

MY MOM JUST TOLD ME TO CREMATE HER AND PUT HER ASHES IN AN HOUR GLASS SO THAT EVEN AFTER SHE’S DEAD AND GONE SHE CAN CONTINUE TELLING ME HOW MUCH TIME I’M WASTING.